A Collection of Poems

Heyy Guys! Hope you’re all having a good week. It’s winter holidays in two weeks for me. I think that I might try to post every day over these holidays just for fun. They’ll probably be pretty short posts but let me know if you would want me to do that.

I’m handing in my last assignments for the year which is stressful but I can’t wait for it to be all over. Here are a few short poems I had to write for an English task.

 

STORM

Even the strongest trees are twigs

Serving the wind like a dog to its master

The power to destroy or prosper,

Uncontrollable and free,

The latter,

I can only wish to be

 

(not sure what to call this one yet)

The wrathful grey clouds

bound in from the distance

The brush strokes so light,

yet so dark,

Bring a silence before havoc

The quiet before a storm

Slippery slimy slopes of rock,

The oceans backwash cascading over them

The white wash in the distance breaks and spreads

Hiding that mystery that lies beneath

It all looks so dead

With the robotic beat of a base drum,

Like a puppet, controlled with strings

Yet, it is so alive

 

RABBIT HOLE

I’m not happy here anymore,

I used to be,

Acting cheerful has turned into a chore

 

I need to run out the door

I’m done being stuck in this place

It’s not my home anymore,

 

I’m constantly dreaming of another existence,

An adventure,

Somewhere I can get some distance

 

If only I could fall down the rabbit hole,

but it’s not that easy

 

 

Thanks for reading. See you in the next week for another post.

 

Sincerely me xx

A Very Wet Weekend

I made it… I’m alive!! (ikr, hard to believe)

Heyy guys, I cannot express how sore I am right now. Everything just hurts. (but it’s a good muscle hurt) I feel quite accomplished to be honest- I actually survived 2 days in the bush, carrying my home on my back. For those who don’t know, as part of my Duke of Edinburgh award, I went on a 2-day hike with camping and all that jazz.

Today I thought that I’d do a bit of a mini review of the past 2 days.

 

So, on the Friday morning, I said bye to mum and boarded the train to the starting point. Thankfully, we didn’t have to be there too early. After all of the preparation, we started walking at around 10:30 and the 2 guys who were navigating us for the first part managed to get us lost in the first 500m, which was actually pretty hilarious.

We managed to get back on track, when it decided to start pouring down with rain. This meant we had to all stop, get out all of our rain gear and cover our packs so that all of our stuff didn’t get wet. The rain passed in like 20 minutes and it came out nice and sunny. For the first 3 km Gabbie, kept complaining about how uncomfortable her pack was (because she’s never been hiking before and I don’t think she understood that you have to be comfortable being uncomfortable). But any way, after about an hour I took her pack, along with half my pack, and let her carry the other half of my pack instead. So, for the rest of the day I was carrying a 25kg pack. I’d like to say that I did this just to do something nice for my friend but honestly, I just knew that otherwise I’d have to put up with her complaining for the whole day (haha) Not exactly what I’d call pleasant, but I took the pain and am stronger for it now.

Other than the fact that I fell over, face-planted and scratched my face, we just plodded along for the next 9 km (around 6 miles I think).

We finally made it to our camping spot around 5pm that night and decided to set up our tents, just before it started to pour with rain AGAIN. So there we were, soaking, trying to assemble a tent before it was completely saturated. Not fun. We managed, finally, but not without being soaked to the bone. The rest of the night wasn’t much dryer either and we had to relocate to the tiny toilet block to cook our dinner. (we didn’t even get to make a fire or have smores! 😦 We didn’t get ANY sleep that night because everyone’s tent flooded and the rain was so loud. We got to a point where we just had to accept that everything was soaked and to not even try to keep stuff dry. To make things even worse, the river that we needed to cross was overflowing and running at 80km/ hr, (50 miles an hour) so we had to change our route, which meant walking an extra few kilometres.

 

That basically sums up my pretty wet weekend, but I can honestly say that I enjoyed it. It was great to hang out with friends, singing as we walked, and getting so irritated with each other because of our lack of sleep and just having a great time. Even now I can look back at it and have a laugh and appreciate the warm (and dry) bed I’m in right now. It also made me appreciate the quality dinner I had afterwards.

Hope you guys stayed dryer than me over the weekend. We had the Queen’s Birthday public holiday this weekend which meant that we got today (Monday) off school (YAYY). But back to school tomorrow.

 

Sincerely me xx

 

My Testimony

Hey guys! Thanks so much for all your lovely comments on my last post, they all really meant a lot and made me feel much better.

This is my Christian story. It obviously means a lot for me because it is about how I came to fully trust in Jesus. It isn’t a spectacular, amazing life-changing story that makes you awe the person whose story it is. It’s just me. I wrote this for a Christian camp I did a while back and I thought I’d share it with you tonight.

This testimony isn’t the only thing I wanted to share with you tonight, I want to share with you the video that made me want to share this and tell others about my saviour. I know many people won’t read this whole thing, but I ask that you at least watch this video.

 

As I was growing up, my family and I attended a local catholic church, it became routine for me so I never really questioned it. My mum’s parents were catholic so there’s a bit of background there. We would go to church most Sunday’s, Me, mum, my Brother and my Nanny. At church, we would do the standard thing; sing songs, read the bible and pray. I called myself a Christian but I believe this was just because I didn’t really know any different. I never thought about what it actually meant for me. I didn’t invest myself personally into any faith.

I knew of the bible and would read it at church but it didn’t really impact me, I wasn’t really living by it or change my life because of it. Church and my Christian faith was a Sunday thing, more like a chore or just something you do because you don’t have a choice. I was used to the same old routine.

When I started at high school, I also started going to youth group around the same time, I was having more opportunities to hear about God and His big plan for us. I really was starting to understand what being a Christian meant. It wasn’t just a Sunday thing anymore but something that I was aiming to base my whole life around.

The moment when I really chose to devote my whole life to God and hand all my worries and doubts over to him, was one night a few years ago. Stuff at home and school was really hard and everything just seemed to be going wrong. I was really upset and was trying to message some of my friends because I wanted to talk to someone but no one was replying. I felt like I was completely alone. It got to really late at night and I talked to God. The more I’ve thought about it since, I’m really surprised that I hadn’t even thought about talking to God about everything and anything, I knew He would listen and I knew I could talk to Him whenever, but it wasn’t a Sunday, it didn’t seem like a usual thing that I did. I read Psalm 139 which talks about how God is all knowing and all powerful and is ALWAYS with us no matter what. I prayed to God and thought about how the things in this world will come and go, but God is ALWAYS there for me.

What I’ve come to realise is that God gives us challenges in our life not so that we suffer, but so that we can grow and mature as a person and in our relationship with God, bringing glory to Him. Like James 1:2-4 says, count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

 Following God will never be easy and not everyone in my family will be completely accepting of my faith but I pray that God will help me use it as opportunities to tell them about God and the good news of Jesus so I can not only be challenged myself, but I can also try and challenge them. Sometimes people will try guilt tripping us into not going to church or youth group and sometimes it is hard to decide where our priorities are and this is something that all Christians deal with at some point, and something that I’m sure you all would’ve experienced too. I find this is especially hard because I don’t like letting people down but I believe that God should always be the centre of my life no matter what.

I am incredibly grateful that God has brought me to him over the last 3 years and that I am continually finding out how I can be more like Jesus in so many ways. Something that I always find helpful to think about it that we can’t move mountains, but God can. We can try to climb around them on our own but they will always be there.

If any of you ever want to talk to me or have any questions about anything, especially God or Christianity I would love to talk to you. I’m going on a Duke of Edinbrugh hike tomorrow and the day after so I wont be around at all but hopefully I’ll come back with some great stories and pictures off my go-pro.

Sincerely me xx

 

Life Sucks

Hello my friends. I’ll say it now, I am not in great mood. (I hope you are all feeling better than I am right now)

 

I don’t really know what to say but I just need to talk. I feel like giving up. (not in a suicidal way, I promise). I feel like I’m constantly being yelled at or fighting with my dad (and myself).  These days even the little things seem to cut so deep. Like they just open up the wound of everything bad that’s happened in the past. It just keeps building up and I honestly can’t deal with it anymore. I constantly want to just leave. I want to escape this life. I need a break, but I don’t know what to do.

Tonight, my dad just made one comment, anyone else would have just ignored it, but to me, it just reminds me of everything else. My dad was just jumping down my throat about what I was doing on my laptop and questioning my truthfulness. The thing that I hate most about this is that he doesn’t trust me. This just reminded of all the other nights that he has screamed at me about how I’m too fat and don’t try hard enough at school. It has come to the point where I can’t even go into the kitchen or get something to eat without him telling me off and, I can’t sit down at the television to watch some MasterChef without being questioned whether I’ve done enough school work. Every time dad yells at me and mum is around, she comes to my defence but that just ends up in her being hurt as well.

I guess I’ve kind of become used to it, but it still hurts so much. Now, whenever I’m yelled at I get up and leave. I lock myself in my bedroom for the rest of the night.

I’ve never told anyone about this before because I know they will pretend to understand but really wont. You can’t understand this unless you’ve been through it before. I know that if I tell anyone, that they will think it’s nothing and I need to get over it. I’ve tried to tell myself before that I’m being too sensitive but I still feel the same way. It hurts

 

Sorry about the really negative post but until next time, for hopefully more positive post.

 

Sincerely me xx

How To Work Productively

Hey guys, as promised, four days ago. (I think)

 

 

Today I have decided to give you all advice on something that I am actually horrible at ironically. I’m not great at staying focused (hence why I have multiple unfinished blog posts) but I’m getting better so here are a few ways that I think helps me to stay focused. *plays game on laptop*

 

Music:
I cannot be productive I don’t listen to music. I love listening to music when I need to focus and do work. At the moment, I am really enjoying songs by Jess and Gabriel as well as Ben Schuller (you can find them on Spotify). I just find that I can’t listen to music that I know the lyrics to because I won’t be able to focus and just start singing along!

 

Tidy work area

I find it soo much easier to be productive when there is nothing on my desk. I find it so much easier to concentrate and not get distracted by everything. A tidy desk is quite uncommon for me nowadays, but when it is, I can’t explain how much I appreciate it. I always vow to myself to keep my desk tidy… it never happens. (can you guys relate at all?)

 

Fresh air

If I’m in a stuffy or congested room, I just can’t concentrate. At the moment, I have my desk facing the window in my room and I love it so much. I can open my window and feel the breeze, and I can hear the birds. (I am aware that I probably sound like a tree hugging nature freak… not that there’s anything wrong with that). it’s just so refreshing and helps me to work productively.

 

Warm drink / food

I don’t know about you guys but I can’t work on an empty stomach. This one doesn’t need too much explaining. It’s always good having something to munch on while you revise.

 

Writing a To-Do list

This one should probably be at the top of this list because it is a must for seriously every part of my life. I just can’t work without a to-do list and knowing everything I have to complete. On my laptop, I use an app called Make a List (original name… I know) and it just helps me keep track of everything and is pretty easy to use. Probably the best, most satisfying and rewarding part of having a to do list is crossing things off as you go.

 

Completing the little tasks first

By completing the smaller tasks first, it just makes the list seem so much more manageable and small. (not that my to-do list is ever small anymore… quite similar to my neglected books-to read list). I find, it also gets me more motivated to work and in a better mind-set.

 

Make small goals

Whenever I have really big assignments, I break them up into much smaller, step-by-step parts. This may make it seem like you have more to do, but you can tick things off so much faster. If you stop working on something then come back to it, this also makes it easier to know where you are up to and what stuff you still need to do.

 

Write a timetable

Whenever I know that I have full days of study coming up, I write a timetable to help me stay on track and get everything done. I usually do 45 minutes to 1 hour intervals of study or work then do something fun for 15 minutes. Studying in smaller intervals has actually proven to be more effective apparently as well. If one thing isn’t working at the time, that’s ok, just don’t push it, move onto something else for a little while

 

Have something to look forward to

Having something fun to look forward to always gets me motivated to work hard knowing that the sooner I get stuff done, the sooner I can relax and do something fun. Last time I had big exams at school 2 friends and I, who live pretty close, decided to go out for dinner after a full day of study which was great relief from all the work.

 

Try not to put things off

The last tip I can give you is to not keep putting things off (I do it, but still haven’t seemed to have learnt my lesson). The longer things sit there unfinished, the longer they linger in your head. Apparently, you are a professional at something after you’ve done it for 10 000 hours, so I guess I qualify as a professional procrastinator.

 

 

That’s all for today. These posts seem to be getting longer every time. Maybe sometime in the near future I’ll finish one of the other blog posts that I’ve started. (kind of ironic)

 

Sincerely Me xx

Quick Post

It has been too long! I am so sorry for not posting for like 2 weeks but I’ve got heaps of cool posts planned so look forward to them. School has been really stressful lately and I just haven’t had the time to write posts for you guys.

I thought I’d just let you guys know that the stuff and school is starting to get better. 2 friends and I have made a group together and I’m not dreading going to school so much anymore.

If I get time to finish the post I’ve been working on, I’ll post it tonight.

 

lots of love,

Sincerely me xx

Ps: I’m researching cameras to buy because I really want one and am saving up. So if you guys have any suggestions or anything I would be very grateful because at the moment I’m not very sure.

A Crazy Weekend!

Heya all! I’m back with another life update because yall seen to enjoy them.

My weekend was CRAZY (not that that’s unusual for me). I have come to the definite conclusion that the weekends are too short. Who want to sign a petition with me to make weekends longer?

 

Saturday
I cannot explain how exhausted I was after Saturday. It was soo busy that I’m going to need subtitles for subtitles!

My Brothers soccer:

At the bright and early time of 8:15 I had to be at my brother’s soccer game. Because I need to do an hour of community service each week for the Duke of Edinburgh award that I am doing, I co-coach my brothers team. Conveniently (not), the main coach was sick which meant that I had to control and organise about 12 crazy 11-year-old boys. Not exactly an easy feat, but I managed, eventually. If I wasn’t completely awake before, I definitely was after this game. (haha)

Work:
UGHHH. I don’t think I’ve told you guys but I work in a small café near my house every Saturday. I do stuff like wash up dirty dishes (now my least favourite thing in the whole entire world), serve tables, clear tables, take orders and clean. (basically a bit of everything). Well, I worked for 5 and a half hours on Saturday which absolutely drained me. It’s worth it though I reckon because I’ve learnt so much (like how to tell the difference between a flat white and a cappuccino ahah) and my boss is really caring and generous. Even though work isn’t that bad, I still kind of dread it.

 

Dinner Guests:

As if I wasn’t already exhausted enough already, we had some family friends over for dinner. They’re all really nice people but I just didn’t have the energy and almost fell asleep at the dinner table (not really). I still enjoyed the night though.

 

Sunday-

Mother’s Day!!

Soccer:

As usually, the soccer run. Thankfully, my game wasn’t until 10:30 which meant I could have a bit of a sleep in. We won, the score was 4-1 I think. Not really too much exciting news here so I won’t bore you to death with my rambles. Seeing the fact that I didn’t get up early to make mum a lovely breakfast in bed, I made it up to her with this triumphant soccer win. (not really ahahah)

Mother’s Day lunch:

Still incredibly sweaty and with a stench cloud hanging around me after a hot soccer game, we went to my aunties house for a Mother’s Day lunch. The typical Aussie snags on the barbie went down a treat. My mums whole side of the family was there so I basically hing out with my cousins all afternoon. My little cousin, who’s like 5 years old is a full-time job but I love her so much.

 

Monday– aka the worst day of the week

This is the day that I find most difficult to get out of bed for because I know that I’ve got a whole week of school to not look forward to.

School at the moment sucks a lot for me because my friendship group is in the slow and painful process of breaking up. Basically, some people aren’t getting on with others. This doesn’t bother me too much but the thing that does bother me is that I feel as if no one likes me. I’m not really sure how to explain it and I am probably sounding really petty (sorry). Two people who I considered part of my 5 closest friends have just started to become really distant and dry to Gabbie (my friend) and I. I’m not going to try to explain it all now because it is hella complicated but I might write a whole post on it next week. I’m just constantly left alone. In class the people who I used to sit with suddenly started sitting with other people and I’ve had to find a seat by myself. I’m constantly left by myself during lunch time or trailing behind other people trying to be part of the convocation, all my friends are doing things outside of school together but I’m never invited to ANYTHING. I just want to get away from it all. I guess I’ve only got myself to blame because I am so shy but I just hate it that no one actually bothers to stick around to find out what I’m really like.

 

Tuesday

I can’t say was much better than Monday unfortunately because my three closest ‘friends’ were not at school, leaving me even more lost than I normally am.

 

Anyway, enough of my ranting for today.

Sincerely Me xx

 

Gossip Girl- book review

Hello, hello, hello. I hope you are all having a great day and a great week. School for me has been absolutely HECTIC over the past week and a bit. At the moment, I’m in the middle of doing a series of tests that all students in Australia have to do. Basically, we have to do a few tests on literacy and numeracy every two years for the government to see where we are all sitting. They’re annoying but I’m almost finished. So, I apologise for my absence once again.

 

Today I’m going to do a book review on a book that I finished reading about 3 weeks ago (a little late, I know). I don’t have the best memory for books but I’ll tell you what I thought

So, this book has been sitting in my bookshelf for about 3 years but I have never actually gotten around to reading it because of the extremely long line of books that I already had lined up to read. I finally decided to pick it up and have a read.

To be honest, the first book I quite enjoyed but it was an easy read. I feel like an easy read is nice every once in a while, (and so is a challenging one). I found the main character (Harriet Manners) quite relatable in some ways; the socially awkward, clumsy, accident prone and freckly red-headed ways.

Seeing the way that I quite enjoyed the first book, I borrowed the second and third books from the library and decided to give them a read. I found that after a while I was getting a bit annoyed and frustrated because the same complications where continually arising. I know it probably sounds a bit picky but it just got a bit boring.

I probably wouldn’t read these books again in the near future but I don’t regret reading them and did finish them.

 

So yeah, I guess that’s it. Sorry this post didn’t really have any structure. I’m thinking of doing a post on all of my favourite books of all time so let me know if you want me to do that.

 

Love you all,

Sincerely me xx

 

EDIT- oh my gosh guys, the most embarrassing (not actually the most embarrassing thing though because of my naturally clumsy and socially awkward nature) thing happened to me today at school. This is random but I’m going to tell you guys anyway. So, the guy that I wrote about in this post goes to a school christian christian group with me. It was on today during lunch in one of the more cramped classrooms which was a recipe for disaster. I obviously didn’t realise at the time but he was walking behind me and I stepped back, onto his foot and almost tripping him over. Trust me to do something like this. I was absolutely humiliated!!

My Big Speil

Hi Guys! I hope you are all well. Today is basically a completely random post but I thought I’d share it with you anyway. I’m in a bloggy mood right now so I may as well.

 

Recently, I have to admit that I have been off and on with my blogging (sorry about that). I think I might have just needed that little bit of a break to relieve some of my stresses. Even though this was supposed to be an outlet for me. Like something to relieve my stress and just relax. I found that I was beginning to put too much pressure on myself to write lot of content for you guys. It felt like there was this voice in the back of my mind constantly telling me that I hadn’t uploaded in 4 days and I was being lousy. Like I wasn’t strong enough to actually persevere with this. Every single night, lying in bed, I felt like I’d wasted a day, done nothing and achieved nothing. I hate feeling like this every night so if anyone can offer any help I would be very grateful.

Ok, so a few nights ago, I decided to venture back into the amazing world of the blogosphere, after a long month of neglect (if that even makes sense ahaha). I had sooo many amazing posts waiting in my reader. By the time I had finished reading them all, almost an hour had passed! I was surprised by how much happier and content I seemed to feel. It made me think.

So last night, instead of focusing on everything I hadn’t done that day, I considered how blogging effects me. What I discovered was really quite intriguing. It seems to take me into this amazing world of my dream life, where I can really be myself and talk to other real people. I can tell the truth and not have to consider how people would judge me if I say or do anything. I don’t have to put a “cool” filter on. (if you know what I mean?). it takes me into another world, much like a novel. (I think this is why I love reading so much). I forget everything in this world. I forget school, I forget my insecurities, I forget everything that seems to be a continual burden on me.

So I have come to be so incredibly grateful that I started this blog and have been really able to discover myself. I have opened up my horizons so much. i feel like have created an amazing opportunity for myself. Something I have also noticed is that it has made me a much more critical person of myself (in a good way), in that I think more about what I say and whether it is actually the true me speaking or the “I’m trying to please others and be perfect,” me.

Congratulations if you made it to the end of my big spiel. I really appreciate you support, (even if there is only 6 of you at the moment). Well, I’ve got a school athletics competition tomorrow (which I am dreading btw) so I should probably get some sleep.

 

Good night, (or morning or afternoon wherever you are in the world)

Sincerely me xx

Morning Routine

Heyy everyone! So I actually wrote this post quite a while ago but never posted it. So here you have it. (finally) I actually got this idea from Adventuring Girl so be sure to check out her blog (it’s awesome).

 

6:20- my first alarm goes off. I would be lying if I said that I honestly get up this time most mornings. I am not a morning person, but once I eventually get out of bed, I’m all good. I haven’t quite got back into the routine of waking up so early since the easter holidays so I feel so lethargic when I first wake up.

6:30- I usually go on my phone so I don’t fall back to sleep and miss my train. I just look at snapchat and emails.

6:40- this is usually when I actually get up out of bed. I get dressed in my school uniform and make my bed. I also pack my bag with all the books I need for the day. (pretty boring stuff)

6:45- I make myself 2 pieces of peanut butter toast (the exact same every morning ahah). I scroll through Instagram and start checking other things on my laptop.

7:15- (after brushing my teeth and fighting with my hair for 10 minutes) I do music practice or any homework I need to do for the day.

7:40- I leave my house and walk the 20-minute trek to the train station where I meet my 2 other friends that catch the train.

 

Hope you all like this. I’ll get back to my usual stuff next post!

 

Lots of love,

Sincerely me xx